[TED] What's the difference between guilt and shame?

https://www.ted.com/talks/june_tangney_what_s_the_difference_between_guilt_and_shame

What's the difference between guilt and shame?

 

1. Summary

We might think that shame and guilt are similar feelings, but there are some points which differ those two.

Shame is something that thinks 'I' am the one who is wrong. This leads to 'I am a bad person' to 'powerless' to 'want-to-hide-feeling' to minimizing oneself and blaming others.

Guilt is specific behavior is the one which is wrong, which leads to constructive way of thinking and finally to confess and apologizing.

Therefore, guilt is more constructive to develop oneself. Shame is somewhat selfish emotion, because it just focuses on 'me'. The best way is to change shame to guilt, but shame can be hard to manage to get over. That's why shame gets internalized.

Then how can we do to accomplish the best way? We should double-check who we are, which means reflect. And it would be good to belong in a good group, which can keep you from falling in a deep shame. 

But the fundumental problem is, we have too high expectation. We don't have to mind what others say, just live our lives and be sensitive.

 

2. Opinion

I didn't realize the diffences between guilt and shame, but now I can understand.

I was very impressed about 'Shame is a selfish emotion', of which I had never thought.

I also had lots of difficulties in, so called, an adult world, which was very difficult than I thought. And I also had many shameful incidents I don't even want to recall.

Trying not to blame to me but the behavior is very important lession I learn from this lecture.

But being sensitive in a really embarrassing moment is very difficult, but we should try to be sensitive and keep ourselves from falling in 'shame'.